And they lived happily ever after

You know, you don't need to watch soaps on TV - just turn up at a wedding in my town, any wedding. You will see more fights and more drama than on the telly.
Joe Blogg got married the other week? I have been invited to the wedding. Well, not the kind of nice invitation you receive with RSVP and all that... The invitation came from the distressed security guy from the venue, you know, weddings in my town tend to get like that.
The bride was a typical Mrs Blogg.... - feel free to fill in the blanks. And for some reason, she was wearing the white-and-blue lacy garter on her arm (as we can only assume a tiny garter could not possibly stretch around her thigh). Feisty, she was. And pissed as my nan's mattress.
Could someone from Joe Blogg's clan ever witnessed a decent and happy wedding, for example, without ex-partners turning up to the reception and causing havoc, hence the (heavily intoxicated) bridal party beating the sh*t out of the intruders, stilettoes turned into killing machines, hair and extensions pulled out with rage, false eyelashes on the floor, blood and bruises, tank-tops torn.... Cat-fight!!!! Oh-my-god, oh-my-god, never seen a riot before, I have seen one that night though.
The new Mrs Blogg, in her sweaty gown and with her tiara askew and a broken acrylic finger nail (collateral...), puffing neurotically from a Benson&Hedges, confessed to whoever had time to listen, that she would be quite happy to spend the night in a cell, in her wedding dress, as she would gladly punch that b*tch's f**king face in, for f**king turning up like that, and for calling my daughter a f**king sl*g, that is not f**king on, it is my f**king wedding, etc etc etc etc.
Mr Blogg was spaced out, with an idiotic smile on his face. Amazing he could stand up, really, being so intoxicated. Or perhaps he was just musing? Thinking of his happy future with his new Mrs Blogg?
I would like to say 'and they lived happily ever after'. Happily - I doubt it. Ever after - conceptually, yes; the name of Blogg will exist until the end of time, it will shape itself in new characters each time, different towns.
Bless.