As I am typing this, I am above the clouds, somewhere up in the sky, yes above the whole world, but my soul is in the darkest pit. I fly alone, my friend. I am on a tiny plane, it looks very much like a toy aircraft, taking me away from Home back home. The plane is half full (or half empty, depending on how you feel), and I can no longer hear my mother tongue being spoken, as the rest of the passengers are French.
And yes, from here I can see the clouds, but I am yet to find the 9th, I have left my Home yet again, with all its love and tears. Do you remember, mon ami, about our conversation regarding making important decisions? Well, I have just made another life-changing decision, I have chosen AGAIN, to select one slice of this Multiverse, and return to my exile. I sat again (in a real deja-vu situation) in Departures lounge, with the fatidic can of coke and fighting the urge to break into a run, again, through the one way system and leave the airport and be back Home for good. I recall a few years ago, when my whole life was falling apart just like now, I sat in the same place, and I had to squeeze the can of coke really hard to stop myself from making that decision. A life changing decision, that is. That was.
However you were right, my friend, once I have left Home I will never have a true home to return to. You probably know the feeling of being stuck in between worlds like this, an eternal traveller, your life and dreams in a suitcase. I wanted to ask you, and I want to ask you right now, from here above the clouds, PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD REASON TO RETURN but I know deep down you would struggle to come up with a response.
And how will I know, from this slice of the Multiverse, what life would have been, being in a completely different slice.
I fly alone, mon ami, my suitcase and passport and packet of tissues at the ready, because I always cry when I leave my brother behind, in his own Multiverse so different and far away from mine, so I can rise above the clouds, towards a place where maybe one day, one sunny day, I shall find hope.
From above the tear-stained clouds,
With love.
And yes, from here I can see the clouds, but I am yet to find the 9th, I have left my Home yet again, with all its love and tears. Do you remember, mon ami, about our conversation regarding making important decisions? Well, I have just made another life-changing decision, I have chosen AGAIN, to select one slice of this Multiverse, and return to my exile. I sat again (in a real deja-vu situation) in Departures lounge, with the fatidic can of coke and fighting the urge to break into a run, again, through the one way system and leave the airport and be back Home for good. I recall a few years ago, when my whole life was falling apart just like now, I sat in the same place, and I had to squeeze the can of coke really hard to stop myself from making that decision. A life changing decision, that is. That was.
However you were right, my friend, once I have left Home I will never have a true home to return to. You probably know the feeling of being stuck in between worlds like this, an eternal traveller, your life and dreams in a suitcase. I wanted to ask you, and I want to ask you right now, from here above the clouds, PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD REASON TO RETURN but I know deep down you would struggle to come up with a response.
And how will I know, from this slice of the Multiverse, what life would have been, being in a completely different slice.
I fly alone, mon ami, my suitcase and passport and packet of tissues at the ready, because I always cry when I leave my brother behind, in his own Multiverse so different and far away from mine, so I can rise above the clouds, towards a place where maybe one day, one sunny day, I shall find hope.
From above the tear-stained clouds,
With love.
1 comment:
This is so much girl thinking :). Yes, I know the feeling of Multiverse and beeing stuck between different layers of life, without knowing what is best to choose and why. But hope, you don't need to find hope in a different place, I think you already have it. Since you made this decision and you look forward to it (even if not sure), then it means hope is still there and you have a feeling that it will be fine. And I know it will be. Good luck, no matter what decision you take ;)
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